Beautiful

She wandered through the hallways with her head bent low and her lungs begging for air. ‘No,’ she told them, ‘not while they're watching.’

She passed them slowly as time and space around her seemed to stop. They laughed and pointed, then returned to their conversation. "What beautiful anorexia you have." She heard one of them say.

The words echoed in her ears for hours, but she soon realized that they weren’t a memory, but an ongoing occurrence around her. Every corner she turned revealed those words. They were poetic, beautiful, even, just like them.

She sat alone as they discussed the composition of the food they pretended to eat. Endless visions of what she needed most and hated more than anything haunted her mind as she ran from them. When their taunting words stopped following her, she allowed rain to surround her and let her cries be drowned out by the sounds of darkness.

She allowed herself to disappear. She hid behind lies and dark makeup, never speaking or doing anything to call attention to herself. She moved silently through the agony of her life, caring about nothing but insignificant numbers.

They, too, were disappearing. They slowly withered away to nothing; outrageously thin shadows of girls without the strength to lift a finger to point or to draw a breath to laugh. They faded, as all beauty does, but even without them there to taunt her, she suffered.

The pain was too much. She couldn’t handle anything, control anything. The world hated her, she hated herself. Living was a constant struggle, and she was beginning to wonder if any future happiness could be worth her pain.

Cold sweat drenched her body as she sat alone. Her limp clothes and running makeup only made her look that much more gruesome. Her face was pale, her eyes sunken deep inside her head, as if they were trying to retreat rather than see the reflection in the mirror. Her skin hung awkwardly from her bones, which protruded at odd, harsh angles, unsoftened by flesh or muscle. She stood hesitantly, stumbling slightly, and glanced at the mirror in front of her. She marveled at the girl that stared back at her, proud of her accomplishment, though she still saw imperfections. Those would have to be corrected later. What was left of her body screamed in anguish, but she only smiled.

"What beautiful anorexia you have."