Me

So here's the thing: I know I'm a total loser. Its taken a while, but I've finally come to terms with it. And here's the kicker: I absolutely love it.

I know that I'll never fit in with the popular group. They're basically a cult, and they all live up to the same supposed "perfect" standards. I don't want to live up to anyone else's expectations -except those of my parents- because mine are the only one that matter. I don't want some blond bitch with air for brains telling me how to act or what to do. I love who I am, and no one is going to tell me I'm not good enough.

I'll be the first to tell you that I don't have a lot of friends. I'm socially awkward and phobic, and its nearly impossible for me to make friends. By some miracle, I've managed to find a group of decent people that accepts me for who I am, not the designer I wear or my parents' annual income. I'm not outrageously close to this group of people, but they've been kinder to me than any group of people ever has before, and I will always be thankful for that.

Within that group of friendly acquaintances, I have found a few genuinely good people that I am proud to call my closest friends. The one that outshines all others that I know is Rhiannon. She accepts my oddities for what they are: a part of who I am and what makes me unique. She understands me, and that's the most you can ask for in a friend.

I realized tonight how lucky I am to be a loner of sorts. I don't have people that call themselves my friends constantly judging me, and I love that. I have a few people I can trust with my secrets and share memories with, and that's enough for me. I'm happy. Despite anything I ever say, remember that, because I am always happy that I am free from dramatic, twisted relationships that could cripple my personality with conformity. I am free. I am me. And I love myself.

Basically, the point of this rant/creative blabbering expression of my feelings is to say that I am happy, and maybe for future reference for myself, so I will always remember the love I have for this unique freedom I possess.

xo
Helen